8 rules for dating a single mom
Having recently read an article describing What A Single Mom Wants In A Boyfriend I began asking myself exactly what I was looking for in a woman with whom I choose to have a relationship. Recently, after a brutal 14-month custody battle, I was finally granted 50/50 custody of her and no longer limited to being an every-other-weekend dad.You might think that change shouldn’t have a significant effect on the qualities I look for in a woman, but it absolutely does.Easy or not, the majority of those four years, I was battling some fairly serious depression and anxiety due primarily to the minimal time I was able to spend with my daughter and the ongoing conflict with her mother.Because of this, finding a potential partner to have a serious relationship with was not a priority for me until about the time I began dating my last girlfriend.Sure, we know you think we are great at it, but we need to hear it.Plus, when you feed our egos, the odds are it will pay off for you in the near future.So if you ever find yourself thinking that you are just tolerating our kids because we are a “package deal”, just leave. Being a single parent with a vindictive ex who would be willing to do anything to remove you from your child’s life, is pure hell. We are going to have arguments with our child’s mother and threats of going back to court.
It wasn’t long before we were discussing where we wanted to live when we moved in together, how we would integrate our families, and what our wedding would be like.
At that point, after more than our share of failed relationships, we both genuinely thought we had found “the one.”◊♦◊The day I was granted equal custody of my daughter fell smack-dab right in the middle of our relationship, and looking back, it was a defining moment for us—the day I can pinpoint as the beginning of the end.
When I only had my daughter four days out of the month, it was easy to just plan our dates and adventures around those days.
When we as dads take our children out in public, it is not uncommon to be asked where their mom is, or hear comments about us pulling “mommy duty” for the day.
It’s almost as if people assume that if we have a penis, we are incapable of caring for a child for more than a couple hours without some kind of assistance or intervention from their mother.